When Jesus spent 40 days and 40 nights in the desert to prepare for his ministry and resist the temptations of the devil it was a pretty decent effort. But it was nothing compared to the 98 with which Bears fans have had to endure since being sent spinning down into rugby purgatory after the brutal semi-final unravelling on that dusty dark day in June. 98 days of deep reflection, trying to make sense of an experience that made no sense. In fact, it was one letter more than that. It was utter nonsense.
Some found solace in work. Others burrowed back into the bosom of their family and some of us even decided to go camping and pretend to enjoy it. We had dared to dream, only to discover that there’s not always a happy ending, metaphorically waking up in a pool of sweat as the reality of the situation slowly dawned on us.
There is a line of thought that says that Bristol blew their best chance of grasping a first Premiership title last year by lacking the pragmatism of game management alongside their breathtaking attacking endeavours. 28-0 up after 35 minutes and aiming for the perfect game they had the oft quoted summit of the mountain within the grasp before it was cruelly snatched from them by ill-discipline, poor decision making and the triple inspiration of Marcus Smith, Tyrone Greene and Louis Lynagh.
But the alternative viewpoint is that we played an almost perfect first half and despite the capitulation in the second were only one pass away from going into a 13-point lead with minutes to play. One of those marginal sporting things where the game plan was ultimately sound but single decisions at crucial yet ultimately isolated moments led to the downfall.
If you subscribe to the latter point of view then there is much to celebrate. The system works, the Bears way is embedded into the DNA of the club and a first historic Premier title is on its way now that we have experienced the pressures and pain of knocks out rugby.
But this is Bristol who we are talking about and however rose-tinted our spectacles might be there is a whole weight of painful history on our shoulders, feeding the doubt in our minds and chipping away like a mother in law at a wedding.
However, the return to the Gate is upon us and what could be better than vanquishing the demons of June by facing another sort of devil in the guise of Saracens. It’s a humdinger of a first fixture, deserves its place at the top of the Premiership fixture pedestal and provides the Bears’ players with a chance to make steps towards their salvation.
20,000 fans under the lights, Wayne Barnes refereeing and a classic rugby narrative drafted in media column inches, myriad rugby forums and multiple fan administered chat rooms. Rugby vs anti-rugby… Christ vs the anti-Christ… dark against light… An early scrap for rugby’s soul.
Either way, with Sarries back in the Premiership fold, Earl and Malins returned to the Wolfpack and other teams appearing to strengthen, it seems that this season will be less of a single peak to climb and more of a mountain range to conquer.
And of course, it wouldn’t be the Bears if there wasn’t at least a bit of drama. At this week’s Fans’ Q&A, Pat confirmed that Siva had broken his wrist, Semi was still on his way back from Fiji and that Joycey, Piston Purdy and Bryan Byrne were all recovering from operations. And then of course there is the £500,000 per year Sincks who won’t return for at least five weeks after his Lions escapades and just in time to be picked for the Autumn Internationals. Hmmm.
Apart from the inevitable injury news, the Q&A was an informative affair. The small-ish number of fans were subjected to a 30-minute whirlwind presentation from Sir Pat who certainly put the Pow into PowerPoint with a whistle stop tour through his plans for Premiership, European and let’s face it, World domination, in a way that made you want to get to your knees and moan softly in prayer. With a style more commonly found in the pentecostal churches of bible-belt America, he preached like Jimmy Swaggart on steroids and beseeched his flock to follow him into the light.
It was a brief but compelling insight into the mind of a supreme leader (although not in the North Korean sense I hasten to add) and provided a small window of understanding of the way that team meetings must be run at the HPC, and going some way to explaining the persistently hollow look in Andy Uren’s eyes, the reason why Nathan Hughes feels obliged to pester his barber at every opportunity and the desire for Dan Thomas to bench press live sheep as a means of unwinding after a debrief.
There was no doubt to all and sundry that there is only one way and that is Pat’s highway and if you want be part of the journey then you have to hang on for dear life as he accelerates into the distance.
To his credit Pat was positively dismissive about the lack of pre-season match practice. The system is secure, the squad know what they are doing and there is no need to risk an injury, he said, before downing a pint of water like David Boon addressing his thirst on a long-haul Quantas flight home. Without appearing to, or indeed needing to do something so mundane as breathing, Pat batted off questions concerning the potential lack of tight head cover, issues with game management and his somewhat alarming aim to win the Premiership title five years in a row in a way that made you want to take up arms and follow him out of the trench.
When asked about the new rules changes he claimed it would simply enhance the Bears way and he wasn’t bothered about the loss of Ben Earl as he has more back rowers at his disposal that he could throw a scrum cap at and the only time that he did appear to descend back down to the realm of the mere mortal was when he was asked about the swimming sessions that were organised in pre-season. Denying that they were simply a means for Max Lahiff to enhance his social media profile by promoting his filthy rig in a pair of speedos, he did wax lyrical about how swimming both helps you recover and build strength at the same time, but also conceded that he was himself one of the weakest swimmers in the club although Luke Morahan, who was also present at the forum, did officially confirm that Andy Uren was definitely the worst, having perfected a stroke that was somewhere between doggy paddle and drowning.
On that note Luke Morahan was the perfect antidote to Pat’s high energy delivery. More laid back than a velvet chaise longue, the Wizard of Moz oozed so much calm that it was hard to believe that he was a professional rugby player on the cusp of putting his body on the line in a high stakes gladiatorial contest and not a stay-at-home dad with a Mr Tumble apron making a Moroccan tagine for family supper. Yes, if Luke was an animal, he would be an otter.
But what about tomorrow?
Despite our small number of injury concerns Sarries will also be missing five of their Lions as well as starting with their South African Koch out and facing a full-blown Premiership contest for the first time in a long while. There is a good chance that they will be slightly undercooked and may struggle against a Bristol team determined to bounce back after the knock-out disappointment. However, Billy Vunipola will definitely be one to watch and it will be fun seeing him and Nathan Hughes go mullet to mullet over the course of the game. Ben Earl against Dan Thomas also has a good ring to it and despite the absence of heavy piano shifting hitters like Vunipola, Itoje and George, we all know what we are going to get from their pack, but the hope is that Bristol may move them around so much that they run of gas in the last quarter and finish the game out of tune. Either way Saracens will surely be expecting a frosty welcome from the Ashton Gate faithful who will no doubt remind them of their indiscretions for at least the first few minutes of the game.
Other things to look out for are the aforementioned new rule changes. The 50:22 law should help teams find more space to attack, as opposition wingers and fullbacks are forced to defend their touch line, and is a move that Pat appeared to relish more than salsa on a Big Mac. Also gone is the venomous latch which will be good news for 70kg pocket rockets like Harry Randall who had become accustomed to being quite literally steamrollered by amorphous blocks of collaborative sinew and muscle, and bad news for teams whose red zone game plan involved the tedium of repeated pick and go. Add the final change that affords teams only one chance of scoring before surrendering possession to a goal line drop out if they are held up in the dead ball area and not only do you have adjustments that benefit player welfare but you have the incentive for certain teams in the league to do something revolutionary like passing the ball.
Nope, it’s all adding up to a cracker of a night and season as a whole and I for one simply cannot wait. Bring it on!
Here more thoughts on this game and the season ahead in Season 3 Episode 1 of Bears Beyond the Gate with special guests Chris Jones, the BBC’s rugby correspondent and Jez from Fezcast.
Filthy Rig 