After the tame defeat in the Aquitaine sun the Bears roared back with a comfortable win against a limited Newcastle Falcons side, who had initially seemed hell bent on battering six lumps of shit out of their opponents but ultimately ended up chasing shadows like forlorn spring lambs who have suddenly realised what their imminent future holds. It was slightly ironic that the Kingston Park tannoy system was belting out Boy George at various breaks in the play because for most of the contest the Falcons certainly didn’t give the impression they were a club of culture .
When you assume that you are inferior to the opposition in most areas, then it is understandable that you will look to disrupt their flow and feed off scraps that come your way. However, there is a thin line between tackling hard and committing grievous bodily harm, and in Adam Brocklebank’s case he executed a tucked arm shoulder charge on Callum Sheedy that was so late that it came with an excuse note from its mummy. Simply for its malicious and premeditated nature it deserved a red, but because he only rearranged Callum’s rib cage rather than knocked his head off the framework only allowed a yellow.
To be fair, it wasn’t Christophe Ridley’s fault as he can only enforce what he’s allowed to enforce, but I for one would like to see officials give offending parties a more public dressing down for these sorts of challenges before sending them back to the hutch. Not only would it have made it clear that cheap shot shoulder charging is unacceptable, but the humiliation of being bollocked by someone who looks like he regularly sings the first verse of Once in Royal David’s City every Christmas would have gone some way to providing the sort of the punishment the miscreant deserved. In fact, if I was Ridley, I would have got him to kneel down, tie up my laces and then make him deliver a groveling apology with the collar mic turned up on full volume for all to hear. Whilst it seemed unfair that the hefty prop only got ten minutes whilst Callum was forced off for the rest of the game, particularly since Newcastle scored seven unanswered points when a man down, ultimately Brocklebank was so bad when he came back on that it actually played into Bristol’s hands.
That said, and despite having looked pretty dangerous in the opening exchanges, it appeared that a certain level of panic began to rise in the Bears team when they found themselves ten points in arrears, but as Pat revealed later, he had vetoed their desire to batten down the hatches by reminding them, via a miked up ‘water carrier’ no doubt, to be patient and let time heal the temporary wound. And of course, the big man was right so despite a somewhat choppy first twenty, when it seemed like the Bears were in danger of capsizing, they quickly restored their rigs to ship shape and Bristol fashion by blowing away the chill but brief wind from the north east and replacing it with multiple warm gusts of quality from the south west. For the rest of the game there as much to admire about their performance and ultimately, they cantered home with their ears pricked forward and yet another bonus point win in the saddle bag.
One of the biggest aspects of this excellent victory was that they all looked fresh. Clearly two weeks of Semi sauna time had recharged their batteries and it wasn’t long before the Falcons’ engine room was spluttering around the park like a diesel that’s been accidently fed unleaded as the Bears looked to stretch the game at every opportunity. But if the Falcons had the look of an old banger on its last legs, in Max Malins the Bears had a Ferrari straight out of the showroom. To say he was box office was an understatement as he provided a full-on performance with a pair of swiveling hips not seen since Shakira broke onto the scene in the mid noughties. He was so good that he made most of his opponents look like subhuman Orcs from Mordor succumbing to the wizardry of Gandalph the Great and the way that he sent Tom Penny spinning in all directions by double dummying for his first try, so that the poor lad’s mullet was rearranged into a short back and sides, was worthy of an X rated certificate. Holding the ball in both hands with his head up and his substantial thighs on overdrive, Malins was clearly making up for all the rugby that he had missed since being called up to the England squad and the way that he hunted for space and then accelerated into it once it was found, as he did for his second try from a somewhat fortuitous bounce of the ball, was a joy to behold. Bears need to make the most of him before he gives us the same treatment next season back at Saracens.
But in addition to Malins, there were others who also shone. Luke Morahan oozed class and glided through attempted tacklers in a manner not seen since a certain Son of God decided to take a short cut over water and Will Capon lit up the park with a dynamic display of go forward and soft hands that was closely matched by his peer in crime Fitz Harding who looks as comfortable in Premiership company as a man who wears a cashmere sweater whilst relaxing on a chaise longue. Ioan Lloyd returned from injury with a quick step that could get him on the next series of Strictly and a shout out also needs to go to Niyi Adeolokun who is fast adding composure, safe hands and a solid defence to his raw pace in a way that makes him a real contender for a starting berth on the wing. Furthermore, Andy Uren upgraded his performance from solid to superb and Siale Piatau matched John Afoa in holding back the years by taking the mick out of the Falcons rush defence and leaving them seeing simply red with some filthy offloads and dirty line breaks. And Ben Earl transitioned from no look pass liability to try scoring live-wire in the blink of an eye, with one of his best performances to date in a Bristol jersey, proving that when it comes to loan signings, Pat Lam is right on the money.
All in all, it was a very satisfying performance and had it not been for the shaky first quarter it may well have been the ‘complete’ one for which many fans have been waiting. Equally as important however, it sets up a tasty top of the table clash with Exeter Chiefs on Friday which will have rugby purists purring and the marketeers mewing. If Bristol win then it will all but guarantee a home semi-final which means that Pat will have the luxury of rotating his squad so that when the push for the summit of Premiership glory is required he’ll have all the Sherpas lined up. The business end of the season awaits!
If you want to hear more about this game and listen to the thoughts of guest podder, Rob Kitson, chief rugby correspondent of the Guardian then click here to listen to the latest episode of the Bears Beyond The Gate podcast, made by fans for fans.
Filthy Rig 