Bristol Bears 29 – Newcastle Falcons 17
The Falcons swooped into town with a four-zip win record albeit one of them thanks to COVID (a phrase that you don’t hear very often). However, any team coached by Dean Richards will come prepared with a number of light and dark arts so when we also found out that six of the front row were isolating and it was time to throw in the kids we knew it might be a tough assignment. The return of CP and the Wizard of Oz softened the blow somewhat, but to be honest neither were going to be much use against a growling Geordie pack fronted by Mark Wilson, Cumbrian granite in human form, so clearly our game plan would be to avoid a forward arm wrestle at all costs.
The man in the middle, Christophe Ridley, looks more like a senior prefect that has been overpromoted than a top-level referee and his first contribution was to ignore the fact that the Falcons number 5 was about 10 yards in front of Toby Flood on kick off. But hey, why waste time on easy to spot infringements when you have scrum collapses and breakdowns to police. We could add throwing straight at the lineout, feeding the scrum and breaking the offside line to the list too. It seems to me that if you want to establish authority then ping the easy things early so the players know you are onto them. Otherwise, they’ll be flouting the rules like a career criminal on day release.
Anyway, Bristol dropped the ball as usual and the Falcons had a couple of ineffective phases before Luke Arscott delivered a late Christmas present by passing the ball to Callum Sheedy who showed a nice turn of pace before delivering the try to Siva Nualago . He had so much gas that it rearranged the lettering on the back of his shirt.
After that, the newly christened Nuagalo nearly scored again from a forward pass by Semi and stupidly I assumed that we were in for a rout. Oh, how I chuckled on my sofa. Welcome back to the big time boys. Well, chuckling quickly turned into choking as apart from Piatau’s first try in over a year from a one-handed pick up that should have come with a government health warning it was so filthy, we spent most of the rest of the first half trying to repel wave after wave of Geordie marauders. So much for avoiding the arm wrestle.
Despite some heroic defence, which to be fair has become an integral part of the Bears’ evolving project, Mark Wilson finally went over from an old school tap and go after Attwood was carded for driving so early on a Falcons lineout that he ended up with one of their players sitting on his shoulders. Before that Newcastle had also scored a decent phase try when their young centre found a gap in Semi’s beard and bundled through an uncharacteristically weak tackle from Piers O’Connor. Apart from the tries the other main highlight of the half for the Bears was the exuberant performance of George Kloska who recovered from an early missed lineout throw to put himself around with alacrity, which I still remember from my school days as meaning ‘eager readiness’. Big Steve Luatua also showed his class despite the deceptive air of looking completely knackered from about 5 minutes in.
So even though it felt like we had been bullied for most of the half, the Bristol players must have been fairly relieved as they trotted to the changing room 14-10 up only to be reminded that Pat was probably penning a half time chat that was less get on the bus and more give your shirt to an 18 year old.
As has been the way in many games Pat’s reminder to the team that the system is the solution bore some early luscious fruit with the increasingly dynamic and hirsute Nathan Hughes dabbing down after a gloriously deft and perfectly executed lineout move. Expecting a catch and drive the Falcons where deliciously wrong footed by Joycey who found a pass to big Steve off the top that defied the laws of time and space so he could pop it to big Nath who gobbled up the try line with the same enthusiasm that he showed last year when hopping across the traffic outside Welford Road to help himself to a donner kebab with extra chilli sauce. The pleasure that he currently appears to be getting out of playing rugby is a joy to behold and long may it be matched with the sprouting of his cranial and facial hair.
It’s credit to Falcons that we didn’t run away with the game even when the aforementioned Kloska rounded off a dream man of the match performance with his debut try from a standard rolling maul mid-way through the half. His all-round display was capped nicely with one of the humbler post match interviews ever recorded. Kyle Sinckler would also be disappointed to not get a mention in dispatches as his second half grunt shored up the scrum and eventually wore the Geordies down. That’s no disrespect to Jake Armstrong who clearly only had a half in him before he needed to be resuscitated but he did a fine job and that’s what a squads’s about after all.
So, yet another bonus point win and with Exeter getting ‘out Exetered’ by Wasps we sit proudly in second place on 20 points with a tasty trip to Devon next on the agenda. We’ll need the self-isolators back into the fold if we are to produce another Sandy Park special, but I have a feeling that if we defend for our lives again, start with Harry Randall and get SAS (Semi and Siva) into the game we could come away with another victory and let’s face it, who really fancy playing us at the moment?
Filthy Rig 